#11minutekundalinimeditation

I set off. The first few minutes are ok. Then, my arms hurt, my arms ache. No, it’s pain! I don’t have to do this. Why am I doing this? I can stop at anytime. OwwwwwwwwwwAhh!! I try to adapt the pose without breaking the posture. I wriggle my shoulders. That didn’t help. It still hurts. The trick is not to focus on the pain and then somehow you don’t feel it. I try that thing with my eyes. Maybe more with the focus of my attention. Kind of a mix between the two. It’s sort of like those 3-D illustrations from the eighties or was it the nineties (apologies to any young people) when you look at them and do something with your eyes till you ‘find’ how to see the 3D image hidden in the illustration. Except it’s not with your eyes it’s with your point of focus… Nope! Didn’t work. Hussam’s ringing. That’s a good excuse. No, it’s not. Yes, it is. I can call back when I’ve finished meditating. It could be important. It’s an 11-minute meditation. If there’s an emergency… he wouldn’t call me! Depends on the emergency. Less than 11 minutes, is not going to make or break an emergency. Well, not one you’d call me for! My arms are killing me. I try inhaling as deeply as I possibly can. Today, it helps. In the nick of time. The meditation ends. I manage to get to the end without coming out of the posture.

Meditation gives me an opportunity to experience the struggle of real life. It’s like a microcosm of the real world. So, I don’t fear or wince so much when I meet real life challenges. A training ground to build up some … gumption, stamina, mettle… or just to find that place of peace. Whatever is required to simply, let go. Maybe, it’s simply breathing.

Maybe, Siwa is teaching me to slow everything down. To trust that things will play out, in time. That I don’t have to clutch. That I don’t have to control and manage everything to feel, to be, safe. To accept, that really, I have no control. That I do, is merely an illusion.